Out of the many community colleges in my state, there is one that offers classes in computer animation and film and video production. Each year they choose a script and shoot a film. They actually have pretty good production values and many of their graduates go on to work in the film industry. After taking the video editing class and doing very well, I was asked by one of the professors if I would like to help out on his next film project. The entire film was shot in digital video and my job was to transfer the footage from tape to hard drive. The crew was made up of mostly volunteers and the budget was very small, so I volunteered the use of my laptop computer.
The director was excited that a laptop was available and he asked if I would come to the set and bring my laptop, so he could see the footage shortly after it was shot. One day they were going to be shooting scenes outdoors and we had a tent set up for the catering and I set up my laptop under the tent. While the crew was preparing for the shoot, one of the actresses, Karen, came over to the tent and sat down. She was a beautiful light-skinned black girl with a terrific smile. Her costume was sort of a white corset and a white ankle-length skirt that was split on both sides all the way up to her waist revealing her beautiful legs and thighs. I thought she was absolutely stunning, but I tried to act cool. Karen made small talk and I showed her some of the footage that had already been shot and then she went back to the set when they were ready to begin shooting.
After they finished shooting the film the film crew had a wrap party at a cabin on a lake near the community college. I was talking to a couple of crew members with a beer in my hand when Karen walked up. She was wearing a tight green t-shirt and denim jeans that fit her very well. I am pretty shy around girls, especially ones that I find very attractive, so I found it a pleasant surprise when Karen went out of her way to talk to me. We each told a little about ourselves and Karen talked about how she made a living as an actress and a spokesmodel. She did commercials, trade shows, corporate videos and the like. Then came time to screen a teaser for the film and we went our separate ways. I went home thinking about how much I liked Karen, but also thinking that she was way out of my league.
As much as I tried I couldn't get her out of my head, so I decided to call her. Dammit, what did I have to lose. I got her number from a mutual friend and gave her a call. I got her voice mail and said that I had enjoyed our conversation at the party and would she like to have a cup of coffee some time. The next day she left a message on my answering machine and said in a cheerful voice that, yes, she would love to have a cup of coffee with me. I had spent very little time with Karen, but I had already fallen for her, hook, line, and sinker. I already began to imagine dating her and making out with her and kissing her. I had such a huge crush on her that just thinking of her would make my heart race.
Every time I meet a new girl, I think about how to tell them about my masturbation habit. If the relationship lasts more than a couple of weeks I reveal that I masturbate frequently and I ask how they feel about that. So far it hasn't been an issue, but then my relationships don't usually last very long.
This time was different. Karen was the first girl I was interested in since I had started my masturbation blog. We hadn't even gone on a single date and I was already worried that she would find out about my Rolakiki identity. In my mind clouded by infatuation I deleted my entire blog.
A few days later Karen and I got together for coffee and she told me that she would love to be my friend, but she had a boyfriend. After she broke that news I barely listened to anything else she said and I couldn't wait for the date to end. I was crushed. She had been with her boyfriend for nine years. My feelings for her were so strong that I couldn't have spent time around her as a friend.
I still keep in touch with a few of the guys from the film crew, but I haven't spoken to Karen since we had coffee together. It's been six months since I stopped blogging and I'm finally ready to go at it again.
So here's to masturbating. It's what keeps single guys warm at night.
masturbation, dating, girls, infatuation